The clocked ticked over and marked the end of the Sabbath and the beginning of a new year of my life. The hymn playing in the background seemed to convey a sense of smooth transition, as though the markers of time we obsess over are of no real consequence.
One of the best things about a January birthday is that the whole New Year adjustment mindset is still fresh, so I didn’t have to work too hard to take stock of the year that has just ended.
I could make a list of the things that threatened to tear me from my very sanity as I dealt with the worst of my Depression and Anxiety this past year, but I won’t. What matters is that I am still here. Instead, I want to share the things that made my life feel abundant, if you will indulge me.
I’m grateful that my kids and I were able to honor all of the traditions that hold the deepest meaning for us. I love the unity it engenders not just between me and them, but amongst themselves as well. As we wrapped up one such activity on the eve of my birthday, Tristan said to me, ‘Will it be okay if I do this with my kids?’ To which I could only respond, ‘Honey, I wouldn’t have it any other way.’
I’m grateful that my kids and I were able to offer meaningful service on so many occasions. One of the highlights was taking Mothers Day gift hampers to the mothers of children who are terminally ill. This project was made possible by many generous donations of time and goods. (I’ll share more of what inspired this project in another post. I’ve been putting it off for quite some time.)
I love the tender moments with my children that taught me how much they need me. When Zoë was preparing for her big exams and she was struggling because of the pressure she felt on herself, she came to me on many nights and sat on my lap and cried. In spite of all my reassurances that the numbers of those result were the furthest thing from being an indication of who she is and what her worth is, she, like most of her peers, felt the oppression of expectation on so many fronts.
These are just a few of the examples I wanted to share. I’m not going to make this a long post, so I’ll just share a few highlights from my day.
I’ve always gravitated more to the sentimental than the material, so I was delighted to get some really sentimental offerings of gifts from my kids. Zoë listed all the things she loves about me – one for each year of my life. It’s something I do for them when it’s their birthday so it was nice to be on the receiving end. Larissa made me a beautiful card and a bead bracelet. Tristan, who apparently feels that cards are beneath him, made me a poster with and acrostic of the word ‘mom’.
So at the end of this long and blessed day, I go to bed with tired feet, sleepy eyes, and a grateful heart.
And that’s all I have to say about that…